“Memories can resurface, Wounds can reopen. The roads we walk have demons beneath.” – Mycroft Holmes (Sherlock)
We all have our demons that crawl into our minds from the depths of darkness and leave us traumatized. For the last 3 weeks Megan Rose Alison was missing until on a Saturday afternoon her dead body was found drowned in a well far into the woods.
The LAPD officer, Grimes David reportedly told a certain news channel that “This looks like a murder case, however the dead body has been sent to the hospital for autopsy. We’ll get the results within 24 hours or maybe within 2-3 working days… lets see .”
Megan was 19 and fabulous. She had long dark chestnut hair, green eyes and a beautiful smile. She was the kind of a do or die person. She was never afraid of anything.
She lived in Santa Monica, Los Angeles with her parents and was the only child. Her best friend Vanessa Garcia was her next door neighbor. Vanessa was completely different from Megan. She had short, thick blonde hair, dark brown eyes and pink cheeks. She was an introvert in the beginning but after meeting Megan she changed. She became social, attending parties, concerts, hanging out late till midnight with Megan and her other friends became her thing.Megan had a great influence on her. On one certain occasion Megan said to her that, ” Dude you were so shy in the beginning, Damn I’ve created a monster.”
Vanessa was in her room reading ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ when her mom called her outside in the TV lounge. When she came out she saw her mom sitting on the couch and staring at the television in a daze, her face was so pale that Vanessa got worried, but before she could ask her anything the words of the news reporter entered her ears ” Megan Rose Alison, a 19 years old girl who was a native of Santa Monica has been found dead into the Angeles National Forest, the dead body was found in a well. According to the police this is a murder case….”
Vanessa shouted; ” WHAT! No! This can’t be true.”, and started crying hysterically. Her mom got up from the couch and hugged her. She was sobbing and just sobbing. She couldn’t stop. For a moment Vanessa thought that Megan was playing a prank on everybody. She loved pranks. Last year during Christmas holidays Megan spent the entire week with her friends in Glendale without telling anyone except of course her best friend ( Vanessa). Everyone got worried sick, then on Christmas eve she popped up and surprised everyone. Even though this was a horrible prank but Megan loved doing such things. Once she hid a fish under the driver seat of a guy who bullied her. Even after he got it washed several times, his friends say that the car still stinks. Her Math teacher was a total flirt and used to flirt with the girls in class, she wanted to expose him so she made an account on Tinder and added him, turned out he flirted with her as well so she took the screenshots of the entire conversation and leaked them and got him fired. She was a go hard or go home kind of a person. People loved her because of her bold nature.
Vanessa couldn’t control her tears. She was so close to Megan that the news of her death didn’t feel real to her. She felt like this was one of her worst nightmares. She’ll wake up in a few minutes, but no, this was reality. She felt like that time has been stopped, her head started to pound like someone is hitting it hard with a hammer.
“Mom, we… we need to see Mr and Mrs James. Please.” Vanessa said to her mom crying.
“I know darling we’ll go at their place in the morning. Right now you need to sleep.” Her mom said while making her sit on the couch.
“No!” Vanessa shouted. ” I am going at Megan’s place right now.” She opened the door, slammed it and went away wiping her tears.
At Megan’s house her mom was crying and her dad was consoling her. Vanessa could see the pain in Mr James ‘s eyes. Funny how men aren’t supposed to cry and have to play tough on terrible situations like this, she thought. When they both saw Vanessa, they stood up and hugged her. In a few seconds they all were crying.
“Why? Why this happened to our poor little baby?” Mrs James said with a shaky voice.
“I don’t know Mrs James, I just don’t know.” said Vanessa looking into her eyes.
“I lost Jason before, now Megan too. Why God? Why?” she said.
Jason was Megan’s younger brother. He was diagnosed with brain tumor at the age of 7, he died when he was 12. Megan was pretty attached to him. His death was a great loss to her. She usually discussed her brother with Vanessa and with no one else. Megan used to miss him a lot.
“We’re going to the Dignity Health California Hospital, we’ve got a call from the police, they’ve taken her there. Would you like to come?” asked Mr James picking up the keys of his Accord from the coffee table.
“Of course!” said Vanessa.
It was obvious to Mr James that Vanessa would come with them, he just asked to avoid further conversation with her daughter’s best friend for he knew that he will not be able to control his tears this time.
On their way to the hospital Vanessa texted her elder brother Mark that she’s on her way to the hospital with Megan’s family and she’ll be back late. Lucky she had her cell phone in her jeans pocket. After sending the text to her brother she opened her inbox and read her last conversation with Megan.
Meg: Man, I am so tired I can’t do this History assignment.
Ven: But you have to, I know it’s hard but you can.
Meg: What’s even the point of this? They’re all dead anyways.
Ven: Haha.. come on Meg just finish it already.
Meg: Screw it! I’m gonna sleep now.
Ven: Lol okay GN!
And then after that there were only messages sent by Vanessa saying, ” Where are you?” “Megan is this some kind of your stupid prank?” “Dude it’s been a week show up now!” “Megan I miss you” ” I am so worried, everyone is, please tell me if you’re okay?” and many more messages like these. Vanessa tried to call her, in fact she called her a hundred times but her phone was always switched off. Later when the police started to investigate they found her cell phone in her room. They couldn’t find any clue relating to Megan. Her parents were frantic with worry, her mom stopped eating. Students from the college started posting flyers and posters on street walls, fences, restaurants etc with Megan’s face on it saying “Missing”.
Mr James pulled over in front of the hospital. Megan’s dead body was in the Emergency room. They didn’t start the autopsy yet, the doctors were waiting for the victim’s parents approval. Megan’s mom almost screamed when she saw Megan’s dead body. She stood there for some moments and cried, then Mr James took her outside. They were talking to the police and the doctors now. However Vanessa stood there, still, like a statue beside Megan. She was seeing her best friend lying dead in front of her. But to her Megan looked so calm as if she was in peace now. All of a sudden she started getting flashbacks from the past, the time they both spent together. Those late night chatting and hanging out with their friends, those stupid jokes and their funny laughs, the code names they had for their crushes. The slumber party, the stupid fights, everything literally everything. Tears were rolling down her face as she said;
“Oh Megan, I feel like I already miss you. If only you could stay a little longer. What will I do without you? You didn’t even give me a chance to say one last goodbye to you. I love you so much, and I swear that I will always miss you. There’s a part of you that’s inside of me and it’ll always be there. I hope you are in peace now. If only I knew what happened to you.”
She kissed her forehead and went out of the Emergency. Mr and Mrs James were waiting for her in the parking lot. She went to them and hugged them and started crying again. On their way back home Mr James told Vanessa that they will get the results of autopsy tomorrow afternoon and they will hold Megan’s funeral in the evening. Vanessa said nothing. She was looking outside the window, lost in her thoughts.
When she got home she went straight to her room and locked the door. So many people were sending their condolences to Vanessa through text messages. She switched off her phone and slipped into the sheets and kept crying. She didn’t know when she flew away into the land of dreams or maybe nightmares.
She woke up by a knock at her bedroom’s door. She looked at the wall-clock, it was half past twelve. She got out of her bed and unlocked the door, her mom was standing in front of her with her breakfast.
“Mom, I don’t feel hungry.” Vanessa said and then sat on her bed.
“But you didn’t eat anything last night. Honey I know you’re upset, I know she was so close to you but death is a part of life. We are born to die. I know this was sudden and you weren’t ready for this but trust me you’ll get better with time. Time is the best healer I tell you.” her mom said while she put her breakfast on her bed and sat beside her.
Vanessa hugged her mom; “I don’t know mom I just miss her so much.” she said.
“I know darling, it’s gonna be okay.” her mom said comforting her.
“Dad called?” Vanessa asked by putting a piece of bread in her mouth.
“Yeah, he did. He was upset on this matter. He can’t come home from Australia this month, said he was busy in his work.” her mom replied.
“And where’s Mark?” she asked.
“Well he is outside with his friends.” her mom replied.
Vanessa nodded. After that her mom went outside asking her to rest for a while. Vanessa got up, changed her clothes, put her mobile on charger and turned on her laptop. She got so many emails as well as messages on Facebook about Megan’s death. She started to reply them. After that she went into the laptop’s gallery and started seeing her photos with Megan. While she was going through the pictures her phone rang. She saw the screen ‘Mrs James’ it said, she slid the green button and said;
“Hey Mrs James.”
“He..Hello Vanessa.” Mrs James spoke with a trembling voice on the other side of the phone.
“Are you okay?” she asked in a confused manner.
“No… it’s… it’s the autopsy results….”
“Oh okay. What do the doctors say?”
“I… I don’t know how to tell you this Vanessa….”
“Just say it.”
“The doctors… they… they say that it’s a suicide case. She made it look like a murder case but it’s not. Vanessa my daughter committed suicide! She… she took her own life.” and after saying that Mrs James started crying.
The phone slipped from Vanessa’s hands and fell on the floor. Tears came out of her eyes and she was staring at the wall in complete silence and utter disbelief. Mrs James was saying on the other side, “Hello?” “Vanessa? Honey are you there?” and then beep.. she hung up. Right on that moment her mom came in her room and saw the phone lying on the floor and Vanessa who was still standing motionless. She picked up the phone and asked her what’s wrong. Vanessa didn’t say anything then her mom forced her and she shouted with tears rolling down her face,
“Mother my best friend took her own life! She fucking killed herself!! She was my best friend and I didn’t know that she was in such intense pain that she literally had to drown herself into that goddamn well!! Why? Why? What was wrong with her? Why didn’t she tell me mother? Why didn’t she come to me? I was her best friend right? She used to be with me 24/7 mom! Why did she do this? How come I was so oblivious to all this? ” Vanessa kept on saying and crying. There was so much pain and heart break in her voice that her mother started to cry as well. Vanessa sat down on the cold floor, her mom hugged her as she was sobbing continuously. Her mom made her lay on the bed and she slept again, maybe because of the weakness she felt inside of her body or maybe because she was too weak and tired to face the reality and horrors of this life.
She woke up due to the loud voice of Mark, outside he was fighting with his mom. Vanessa rubbed her eyes. She checked the time on her phone. It was 4:45 pm.
“When will you stop interfering in my business mom?” screamed Mark.
“When will you stop taking drugs Mark? I am your mother, I have every right to ask you about your activities, I brought you into this world… I..”
“Well I wish you didn’t bring me into this shitty place then.” said Mark angrily and went out of the house.
Vanessa was listening to everything. She understood, her brother brought drugs home again. Last time when he did that, his dad was at home and he screamed at him and grounded him, now since he was overseas Mark was taking advantage of that. Vanessa came out of the room. She saw her mom sitting on the couch, sobbing. Vanessa’s heart broke. One can never see their mother cry. Vanessa sat beside her and held her mom’s hand, her mom quickly wiped her tears and said;
“I don’t want to discuss this with you at this moment. Mrs James called, she told that Megan’s funeral is at 6 pm, they’ll bury her at Woodlawn Memorial Cemetery. It’s almost 5 o’clock now. Go and get ready.”
Vanessa quietly went into her room. She wore a simple black attire with black frirade. She tied her hair into a bun, put on a little make, grabbed her cell phone and purse. She looked at the wall-clock, it was striking 5:30. She went to Megan’s house. There were many guests, Vanessa only knew few of them whom Megan introduced to her on last thanksgiving. Vanessa went to Mrs James and asked her if she could go to Megan’s room.
“Of course my darling, we’ll leave for the cemetery at 6:15 pm will you come with us?” asked Mrs James by hardly putting a smile on her face. Her voice was low. She seemed very tired and weak.
“Ummm… No, I will come with my mom, don’t worry I’ll be there on time.” said Vanessa while walking up the stairs.
Megan’s room was upstairs. Vanessa opened the door of her room, she turned on the lights. The room was tidy, Mrs James must have cleaned it when Megan was gone cause her room was always messy. She liked it that way. Vanessa sat on Megan’s bed, she closed her eyes, as if she was trying to rewind the memories with her best friend in her mind in this room. All of a sudden she opened her eyes quickly, it looked like she remembered something. She got up from the bed, moved a few steps away from it and then sat down on the floor. The floor was made of wood. She then started to press her fingers on the floor as if she was looking for a secret button, Creek! She heard the sound, this was it, she placed her nail between the space of the woods on the floor and pulled it outwards, the piece of wood came out, inside she saw Megan’s diary and some other stuff, this was the secret place where Megan used to hide her belongings like her personal diaries, polaroids from the nights of parties etc, but wait, there was a beautiful charm bracelet and a pink envelope which Vanessa never saw before. Vanessa took them out. The bracelet was surprisingly beautiful, she looked at the envelope and then turned it around, there it was written “For Vanessa”, upon reading this her heart skipped a beat, she got surprised. Did Megan wrote this for her? Why did she then hide it under here? So many questions were popping up in Vanessa’s mind, she then gathered the courage and opened the envelope, from it came out a big white note. Vanessa recognized Megan’s handwriting by her first glance on the note. She then started reading it, the note said;
If you are reading this, I’d probably be dead. I know that only you can find this note over here. You must be thinking that this is one of my pranks but unfortunately my darling you’re wrong this time. I took my own life, and I only want you to know about this. I hope you guys don’t find my dead body cause I know dad will surely send it for autopsy and then everyone will know that I committed suicide. Sounds doltish right? And in case you have found it and know about it then you are the only one I am going to tell you why I did this. Vanessa I know you must be hating me right now for not telling and sharing anything with you but believe me I did that on purpose. I just don’t want you to get worried because of me. Even though I am texting you right now saying that I can’t do my history assignment but to be honest I am going away downtown with some of my friends. I’ll stay with them for a few days. I was thinking of ways to kill myself for the past few weeks. At first I thought to kill myself by drinking poison in a motel but I knew that it would be very difficult for me to get fatal poisons like Ricin or VX from here. Then I thought of taking lots of sleeping pills, but this is also a bad idea cause there are chances of survival. After so long I came to a conclusion to drown myself far away, somewhere in a lake or a well, into the woods, where nobody can find me. Vanessa I am suffering from depression since the last two years and I can’t take it anymore. I am tired, literally tired from every single thing. I hate this sunshine and all this interaction with people. I like being alone but most of all I really wanna know how it feels like to be dead. I want peace Vanessa. I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. It’s not your fault trust me. It can never be your fault, you were always there for me, you enlightened me . Your soul is so bright and mine is so dark. I even had therapy sessions with my psychiatrist last month but they didn’t help either . My parents know about my depression. They know that I’ve been taking Antidepressant for so long. They just hide this fact from everyone because they feel like it is an insult for them. Since I am their only child and when I’ll be gone it’ll break them but they’ll get over it anyways, and besides they were never close to me. It’s you who is close and I am so sorry that after my death you’ll have to suffer more than anyone. I wish I could explain you this, but the truth is you can’t understand my pain and my sufferings. I’ve been through a lot in the past years. I lost my younger brother. And I found out that my dad was legit cheating on my mom. Yeah that’s the truth. And trust me I could hear my parents fighting and screaming at 2 or 3 am. And then the so called friends I had, yeah I am talking about Charlotte, Becky, Susan and all, they gave my pictures to all the guys of college. Vanessa I feel like I literally have no one in this world, and it kills me. I know that I have you, but till when baby? I know we will get separated one day, we’ll get busy in our lives and I just can’t cope with this society. I cry myself to sleep every night Vanessa. I can’t concentrate on anything. All the time my head is hurting and I get all these crazy thoughts. What do you do Vanessa when your house isn’t your home? What do you do when you lay awake all night? What do you do when you hear voices telling you that you’re worthless and you should be dead? What do you do when you are losing the fight against your demons? What do you do when depression hits you in the middle of the day when you are surrounded by so many people? Vanessa I am sorry to say this but you can’t feel me. I feel like my soul is lost now, somewhere into the woods, where everything is dark and quite. I am going there to find it Vanessa. I hope you understand me. And yeah this bracelet is for you dear, to remind you that I am always with you. Just know that I love you so much and I am truly sorry for this.
– Love Megan ”
Vanessa died a little from the inside after reading Megan’s suicide note. What hurt her the most was the fact that Megan hid everything from her and never shared and discussed her problems with her. If she had discussed this with Vanessa, she would be alive today. Vanessa was so sorry for Megan. If only she knew that her best friend was going through this much mental torture and is in so much pain. How good some people are in disguising happiness. There must be catastrophes and disasters in their lives and they must be fighting with their deadly demons, still they hide it all so well behind their beautiful and bright smile. Just when you start pretending you realize that everyone else around you is also doing the same thing and just when you think you know people they surprise you.
Due to all this crying, Vanessa’s eyes were red now. She wiped her tears with her fingers and placed the piece of wood back on the floor. She put on the bracelet, folded the note and put it inside her purse. Then she stood up and went down to attend her best friend’s funeral.