Razia Bibi’s Story

I live in Lahore. I was in my teens when my elder sister got married. Her marriage did not last for too long. She was murdered by her own husband because he had fallen in love with me and wanted me under any circumstances. He wanted to get rid of my sister and in the sadness of her death he planned to come and comfort me and make me fall for him. He wanted to use the death of my sister to get me. My sister would have let him have me, only if she knew how much of madman he was. My sister had two beautiful children; a son and a daughter. They were handed over to me because they were too young to face the world on their own. A week passed and Yousaf came to my mother with a marriage proposal for me.

My mother was oblivious to the fact that Yousaf had my sister’s blood on his hands. My mother gladly accepted the proposal.

Years passed and God blessed me with four beautiful children, two daughters and two sons. I am beaten to sleep every night and that too in front of my children. But then again, every morning I wake up hoping that today will be different, today I’ll spend a minute or two without crying, today Yousaf will spare me. Every morning I wake up and give him another chance and every night, I am beaten to sleep just to wake up in this monster’s again.

He says he loves me a lot but what sort of love is this when I’m beaten to sleep every night and that too in front of my children? And my elder sister’s children are married now. We all live under the same roof. I made this house after working for hours every day, after getting beat up by a murderer and pretending to smile through it. I have no proof of it. No possession of anything I’ve earned.

Yousaf always wanted sons. Whenever I conceived a daughter, I was told to go for an abortion. Yousaf is a monster. He can do anything to get whatever he wants. The doctors have told me that if i continue to conceive at this rate, I might die due to the weakness.

I secretly send my children to school so that they can get education because I was not able to. I want them to live a righteous life. I want to give them every luxury of this world but the best I can do for them at this point is give them a banana after a few days. People ask me, “Why do you live with this man? Why don’t you leave him?”
I only have but one answer for them every time that the smile which I get after they eat the banana is what I’m here for.